Around the Mountain...Again

Well, it has been a while since I posted a blog. There has been a lot of water under the bridge – some good and some not so good. It seems like summer just started and now it’s almost over. Wow, time does fly, although sometimes when you are in the midst of a storm, it may not seem that way. I would have to say, as storms go, the past few months have been mild compared to other “seasons.” They are blips on the radar of life that I am getting accustomed to experiencing.

My last blog was about my 20 years old son coming home. "He can't come home," I said. Well he did. He is gone again. No one wants to be right and this is not an "I told you so," post. I so wish it could have been different. Until he can get a handle on his addictions, I am afraid he will continue on this cycle of being in and out of jail and in and out of our lives. Just an FYI, while we asked him to leave, we don't shun him or choose not to speak to him, it is the other way around. It has probably been about a month since we've talked to him. He does pop up on Facebook every once in a while so we know he is still on the streets. He did get his GED while in jail so that is one step in the right direction. So many more to go.

My 19-year-old daughter graduated from high school in early June. Yeah! That was an awesome step for her. There was a lot of activity with grandparents in town, etc. She got a car, which wasn't a gift completely but was mostly paid for by her with money she has saved from her job. We are all learning how to deal with new freedoms and the responsibility that comes with car ownership.

Earlier this year I was praying for a change in my job situation. Well, praise God, I have a new job. I started work at the Diabetes Partnership of Cleveland on May 1. I love it and it fits in perfectly with what I would like to do in my off time...continue to write and market my book, The Grace Assignment. Unfortunately, my motivation has been lacking. I'm not sure why but I definitely need a good old fashioned kick in the pants. Ouch! There, that's done. Ok, now I need to get more exercise, eat healthier, check my blood sugar more often (I have Type 2 diabetes), write every day, blog once a week...I'm tired just thinking about it. Oh, and there's another one...get more sleep.

Hopefully it will not be months before I put my thoughts down here again. I actually have many thoughts that can translate well onto paper and are just waiting to come out. If anyone out there wants to help me with accountability, I would love to get together. You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook/tnighswonger.com or www.facebook/thegraceassignment.com. And, if you haven't read my book yet, The Grace Assignment, you can download it at Barnes and Noble or Amazon or message me and I will send you a copy. It has a lot of great reviews and I think you will find it to be an awesome summer read.

The Prodigal Son

This post has been on my heart for the last several days since I saw my 20-year-old son who is currently in jail. He had a hearing and I was able to visit with him outside the courtroom. When we visit him at the jail, we only get to see him on a video screen. It was nice to talk, face-to-face, of normal things, while we waited. They even let me give him a hug when we left. I cried all the way home.

My heart at various times has felt a lot of different emotions over this young man. Love, hate, anger, indifference, you name it they have all been there. No matter what the emotion of the day is, I do care. I think he knows that. He came to our home through adoption with his sisters when he was nine and with all three it has been a rough road. He was labeled ADHD before he came to us and has since garnered many more labels. Coming out of the foster care system, his background includes abuse, neglect and many things the social workers couldn't name, failed to tell us or didn't know.

He has been in and out of our home more times than I can count. He was in a group home at 17 and came home again at 18. He has been in two rehabilitation facilities. One he walked away from, another he was kicked out of. He never finished high school although we tried to walk him down that path. He has never held a job. He has been in jail for almost a year for the choices he made...mostly substance abuse. In the end, he was caught with drugs.

When I look into his eyes I don't see hate or anger although he has plenty of that swirling around. I see hurt and disappointment in himself. He wants to get his act together. He wants to come home. I struggle with that. He can't come home. I'll help him all I can but I can't trust that things have changed. He can't prove to me that it will be different this time. His proof is just words. We are at a crossroads.

Some think that we should treat him like the prodigal in the Bible. The story tells of the prodigal son who left home and squandered his inheritance. At his lowest point when he was hungry and destitute he decided he was tired of seeing the pigs eating better than he was. He returned home hoping to get a job as one of his father's slaves so he could at least be fed. His father welcomed him with open arms and even gave him a party. How do I justify my response? My son brings the pig pen home with him.

On a more positive note, I just signed him up to take his GED. He says he's been studying. I hope this is a good sign and a start to trusting again. Please pray for this prodigal son of mine. The courts have yet to determine what to do with him. He wants out. I can only hope they can find a place where he can seek healing and restoration in a safe environment.
 

Valentine's Day Ponderings

I know I should have posted this last week but sometimes my "bring home a paycheck every week job" gets in the way. I am currently praying that my situation might change over the next several months. We'll see what God has in his plans. Anyway, that current paycheck-producing job is the subject of many funny stories and sparks many story ideas with loads of characters, both customers and employees. It is also the subject of this week's blog.

I wanted to post on Valentine's Day because as the main floral person at my local grocery store I was on the front lines of guys looking for flowers for their sweethearts. Some were early and some last minute but they all had one thing in mind -- a gift for that special someone. And they all were more than willing to tell me their story as I helped them pick the perfect bouquet.

I have to start with the young man that I helped at the checkout one day. This was a couple of months ago but he deserves a mention. He was purchasing a beautiful floral arrangement and, being the nosy person that I am, I said, "I hope there is a special young lady getting those flowers?" He gave me a wide grin and said, "These are for my sister we adopted 10 years ago from China. Today is her gotcha day." I was so blessed by his comments. For those who don't know, a gotcha day is the day you bring your adopted child home. This young lady is blessed to have such a thoughtful brother.

Closer to Valentine's Day I was working at the service desk when an older gentleman asked me to help him with flowers. His wife of 20 years had died a year earlier and he was jumping back into the dating scene. He said he was tired of being lonely. I'm sure she would be more than happy for him to find some female company.

Of course there was the teenager who only had $10 to spend and needed help finding something in his price range and the man who was headed out on a 10 hour drive to meet up with his sweetheart. I helped him get some cut flowers ready for the road trip.

Then there was the guy who said the apples were talking to him. Hmmm...characters abound at our local Giant Eagle. I consider it all fodder for my future writing endeavors.

Just keep writing, just keep writing. I have Nemo in mind today as I struggle to keep myself away from Facebook and other online pursuits. No, I'm not really hooked on Temple Run like my girls think, but it is fun. Anyway, they suck up my time and keep me from doing what I need to do. Then I get a phone call or two and before I know it, my girls are home from school and I'm transporting or cooking dinner or any number of "important" things. It's funny because I love to write and when I get in the "zone" I can go for hours. Sitting down at my computer and getting started is just so difficult. I am also re-reading The Hiding Place this week and Corrie is in jail, just finding out that her father has died. I really want to get back to that. Just keep writing, just keep writing. And so I am.

As a Christian, I also have to find time to seek God and his direction for my life. Lately He has been speaking two words to my heart. "Trust Me." Every time I question what is going on in my life he comes back with "Trust Me." Why should it take so long just to trust him I don't really know but I am forever in awe of what he does for me. Trusting Him should not be so difficult. Lord, help me to focus on you and not on the world and it's problems and temptations.

I joined two awesome writer's groups this week. I am overwhelmed by the ideas that the John 3:16 Marketing Network has but I am ready to dive into this organization with both feet. A shout-out to all my new friends. You are doing awesome things and I am so grateful to be a part of it. Also, the ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) has welcomed me with open arms as well. I will be connecting with them locally and state-wide very soon. Thanks. You are all an answer to prayer.

I also got my first royalty checks this week. Ok, they were pretty small but I am believing for bigger things in 2013. If you haven't already, join me on Facebook and like my page The Grace Assignment and join me in the fun at facebook.com/tnighswonger.

I am a new blogger so in this first attempt at penning my thoughts on a regular basis, I hope that my dear readers, should I attract any, will provide me some feedback. I was told that this blog needs to have a theme or a reason for being. I have yet to come up with one so I will write anyway until a theme or a reason appear. I am not new to writing so I hope that typos and bad grammar will not turn you away. Although I cannot guarantee there won't be some of that too. After all, we have editors for a reason. I think you will find me to be a very transparent person. I usually tell it like it is. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to make people laugh with my writing and cry as well. You might do a little of both here on these pages. I know I will.

Anyway, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I come from Kansas and I have a dog named Toto. No really. Currently, I live in Geauga County, Ohio, which is about 30 miles from Cleveland. We love our little bit of country but right now I am looking out at snow. We are in the snow belt. I think maybe 6 inches fell this morning. I am ready for spring.

I have four children, two girls who live at home, one son out on his own and one son in jail. My three youngest are adopted from the foster care system. The oldest is biological. I have one Border Collie who I show in agility. She's a little crazy but we love her. Toto is my old Cairn Terrier buddy. We don't know how old he is but he can't walk straight and has bad breath. We love him anyway. I hope when I old and can't walk straight and have bad breath, I will be just as loved. Oh wait, that's me now, hahaha.



My blog is called Grace Notes for many reasons. I am so grateful for the grace of God who gave his son to die on a cross for me. I am grateful for the grace that he gives every day. Grace is unmerited or undeserved favor. God favors me every day with his love and his presence. His grace is sufficient for me. (2 Cor. 12:9). Sometimes it may not look like God is even hanging around but I know he is there. I know he will never leave me or forsake me. 2012 was a difficult year but I am believing that 2013 will be awesome.

Well, 2012 wasn't all bad. I had my first book published. The Grace Assignment came out at the end of October. It's about a young man who questions his faith and then is put in a challenging situation of adopting three orphan children. It has a little murder mystery, some romance and a story of God's grace running through it. Check it out at www.thegraceassignment.com or you can find it on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, as well as other fine retailers.

That's about it for now. The Lord willing, I will be posting about once a week. Hopefully you will learn more about me and my writing endeavors. God Bless!